Ramping up our sex life (with product reviews)

(mildly NSFW position illustrations)

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought I’d share our experience with a few of our favorite products and maybe inspire some sexy gift ideas for the holiday. This one's a bit of a longer read, but you'll get all the deets, and if you stick with me to the end, I’ll even share what‘s on my gift wishlist this year.

Over the course of our 20 married years, PM and I have accumulated a collection of sex toys and accessories (not including my own small stash for private use 😉). But if we had to choose only one bedroom product to keep (excluding lube, because let’s be real: that shit’s indispensable), we both would go with a sex pillow, hands down. They’re so incredibly versatile and make virtually every sex position better. I orgasm quicker and easier and often in multiples, as it allows access to new angles and takes strain off muscles and joints, increasing our stamina. And if I’m climaxing more, it makes me want to have sex more. And as they say, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander. And PM wholeheartedly agrees.

Now, before we invested in a legitimate sex pillow, we often did the classic DIY trick of stacking multiple bed pillows or folding a pillow in half or even bringing couch throw pillows into the mix. Let me tell you, there is no real comparison here between a product like this and what we could pull off ourselves using various pillows. The high density foam found in a sex pillow, while it has enough give to make it comfortable, doesn‘t flatten when compressed, like a wretched bed pillow.

We are such believers in these products that when I told PM I was blogging about sex pillows for Valentine’s Day, he insisted, “Tell them to stop trying to make their own [with pillows]. There’s no question — they should just buy one.” There you have it. Straight from Preacher Man himself!

At the present time, we, in fact, own three sex pillows. The Liberator Jaz, the Liberator Heart Wedge, and a full round bolster. And in today’s blog post I will give you all the info you need to decide whether a sex pillow is right for you (trust me, it is!) and where you can get one… or three!

So why do we have three? Well, we never planned on having more than one — it just sort of happened. While our first wedge was an intentional purchase, the other two…they were sort of acquired by happy accident from a masseuse. Long story short, we now have three sex pillows of different sizes/shapes, and yes, we use all three. And if I have my way this Valentine’s Day, we’ll be getting more!

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Before I get to the nitty gritty, I should note that I have no affiliation with any of the companies mentioned in this post and receive no compensation for my recs. These are just our own honest-to-goodness opinions based on personal experience.

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Now let’s get down to brass tacks here.

The Liberator Heart Wedge, shown below in Plush Microvelvet Red, represents a cute, mini version of Liberator’s famous Wedge. A current 20% site wide promotion (code: NEWYOU) brings this little cutie down to $84 (orig. $105).

Heart Wedge Sex Pillow by Liberator

At 18"L x 14"W x 7"H, when I say “mini version,” I’m talking only a matter of a few inches less in length and width, with Liberator's original Wedge measuring in at 24”L x 18”W x 7“H. Because it matches the Wedge for height at 7“, you get the same amazing 27-degree angle but with an adorable, discreet look! The Heart Wedge boasts a machine washable “plush” microvelvet cover and a moisture-proof liner (because, well, yeah). It was actually our first sex pillow — a Valentine’s Day gift from PM almost 9 years ago — and with occasional laundering, our Heart Wedge still looks as good as new after almost a decade.

Where the Heart Wedge really stands out from Liberator’s other wedges is that it can sit innocuously on our bed (or on the couch, I suppose *shrugs*), without anyone being the wiser. The Heart Wedge comes in 5 colors on the Liberator website, so you can even snag a color that compliments your bedding. We have the Heart in a beautiful Merlot color, perfect for Valentine’s Day, and although this color is no longer available directly through Liberator, at the moment, you can still find it on Amazon.

But the point is, this little cutie is so adorable sitting on your bed, no one will guess what it‘s used for! In fact, when I was as in labor with Three for our homebirth, my midwife pointed it out in our bedroom and said, “What a cute pillow!” I looked at her, raised both my eyebrows, and said, completely deadpan, “Paige, it’s a sex pillow.” So I suppose that is the ultimate plug: A sex pillow so discreet it can even fool someone whose job it is to assist with the fallout of having sex with your partner. 😆

In addition to the Heart Wedge, we also own the Liberator Jaz, a more traditional wedge-shaped sex pillow (though with a rounded end), pictured below in Black. It normally sells on the Liberator website for $95, but with the current site wide sale, you can grab it for a cool $76.

Jaz by Liberator

We own the Jaz in Black, but like the Heart Wedge, it’s available in 5 colors on the website. At 14“L x 18”W x 6”H, the Jaz is slightly smaller than Liberator’s famous Wedge (24”L x 18”W x 7”H), which means it‘s easy to pull out and maneuver, to store when it’s not being used, and to pack in an overnight bag if you want it for travel. As you can see, we’ve got ours stored, along with the Heart Wedge, in an IKEA cube unit next to the bed.

At 6” high instead of the Heart Wedge’s 7”, the angle of the Jaz isn’t quite as steep, but honestly, with only a 6-inch height difference between PM and I, we find it works fine for us in many positions. If we had a greater height discrepancy, I'd want either the original Wedge or even Liberator's Wedge Ramp Combo to help level the playing field, so to speak. I should also note that Liberator makes a Plus Size version of the Wedge, to meet the needs of all body types, with 6” in extra width for added stability and comfort.

In terms of the pillow itself, I’ve already mentioned the high density foam. So the Jaz, like the Heart Wedge and other variations from Liberator, is no joke — it can withstand a pounding (heh heh heh), and it’s wide enough for us at 18” that we’re never falling off it. The Jaz has a removable machine washable microvelvet cover (so it’s soft but not slippery), and a moisture resistant liner, both of which are obviously a plus.

In terms of usage, the angle of the Heart Wedge puts everything within easy reach for receiving oral. We just stick this baby under my hips, and PM has got an all access pass. In his opinion, the 7” height is perfect for cunnilingus — without any neck strain, he can keep going as long as I need him to. I certainly consider this a huge plus. And the 27-degree hip tilt allows for easy anal play as well. The down side of the Heart for me in this elevated oral position is that I find the heart-shape makes me feel a little unstable. My not-tiny ass fits fine on the 18” across, but I tend to feel a little wobbly up there, especially if I want to really spread my knees. I think this is due to the lack of top corners, as I tend to roll a bit on the rounded edges of the heart when I squirm or rock my hips. Not a total deal breaker, but if you’ve got a well-endowed bottom, a shape with corners like the Jaz or the Wedge would probably be preferable. So to recap, while PM likes the 7” height better for giving oral or for rimming, as the receiver I prefer a normal wedge-shape like the Jaz (6"H) or presumably the original Wedge (7"H).

All of the suggested position illustrations below come straight from the Liberator website.

Now, in terms of penetrative sex, PM’s favorite positions with our pillows are the Over Easy, Heart’s Desire, and variations thereof.

Either of our wedge pillows work for these positions, for vaginal sex or anal sex, although PM tells me that he prefers the stability of the Jaz over the Heart Wedge. So instability seems to be the major con of the Heart Wedge, at least for oral and for penis-owner-on-top positions.

Honestly, the use of a sex pillow in missionary variations are a must in my book. With the simple hip tilt of a wedge, penetration becomes deeper, and I can get those strokes right where I want them. A plain old vanilla position just became a friggin’ hot fudge sundae. I especially like when PM sits back on his heels and pulls me forward so my hips are hanging off the edge of the wedge a bit — I still get a great angle from his thrusts, but with the added benefit that he can easily massage my ass and inner thighs or play with my labia, clit, and anus.

From this more upright position, PM can easily switch back and forth between using his cock or fingers, according to my needs (well, really it’s more like “according to my instructions,” because I tend to top from the bottom a bit 😆). This also reduces fatigue for him since he's simply resting on his knees. And when he's leaning back a bit, it has the added benefit of allowing me great access to my clit. And, hot damn, all this comes together into a blow-my-mind sensory experience.

But as much as much I like front-facing sex so that I can watch PM fall apart, my favorite position with a sex pillow is a variation of the Prone Bone (which they’re calling the Down Low here), where I’m on my stomach with the wedge under my hips.

I love to be on my stomach for sex. I love how the angle allows his cock to stroke my front wall. I love that I can just relax into the sensations in this position. I love that I can easily slip a hand under myself to stroke my clit without a body in the way.

But this position can put a lot of strain on my lower back, which tends to get pushed into an arch. So the addition of a wedge to lift my pelvis eliminates the lumbar pressure I would otherwise feel. It also has the benefit of keeping my hips at a delicious angle, so all those thrusts stroking my front wall become a bit deeper. And when he straddles me in this position, so that my legs are together with his legs braced outside of mine, we get the added friction of an even tighter fit. The downside to the Heart Wedge in Prone Bone/Down Low positions is that when he's straddling me from behind, it's more difficult for me to use my hand on myself when it's sandwiched between my body and a wedge. The curved edge of the Jaz seems to make it a little easier for me to achieve the self-stimulation I usually need to climax.

I also like to use the Heart Wedge under PM's hips when I'm not top, a position which Liberator's calls Home on the Range. With his hips tilted up those 7", I can ride him upright and still grind my clit against his pelvis. If I want to change the angle and lean further back, I can simply slide the wedge down under his knees.

There's one more wedged position that we only just discovered (while experimenting *eyebrow waggle* for this blog post) and I don't have an illustration for, but it may prove to be a top contender as favorite position for both of us. I lie on my side, with the 7" wedge under my hip to tilt me up, and I bring my knees toward my chest while PM kneels behind me, with a hand braced on my hip. Not only do we perfectly align with a nice tight fit, but this is also a really comfortable position for PM since he's upright and avoids the arm fatigue of having to hold himself up. I like my top leg pulled a little closer to my chest, which gives him great access to my clit and ass. An added plus is that we can make eye contact in this position, and we both can easily play with my breasts. And simply by sticking another wedge or a bolster under my top knee, I gain the space to easily work my own clit. So with the help of a wedge, this is a lovely, relaxed position for both of us that simultaneously ticks all the right boxes.

Finally, in addition to the Heart Wedge and the Jaz, we have a full round massage bolster, 26” x 6”, like this Earthlite one sold on Amazon. Why not just use a decorative bolster pillow? Because a regular bolster will compress under pressure, just like a bed pillow. Like the wedges, a professional-grade bolster, manufactured for massage or yoga, is made from high density foam. The bolster from Earthlite, like ours, has a removable polyurethane cover that is moisture resistant and can be cleaned by simply wiping it down with mild soap and water. I would note that a con of the polyurethane cover is that it can be a little cold against the skin, but this is easily remedied by sliding it under a sheet or blanket.

A bolster will give you a subtle lift compared to the wedges. So, for example, I will sometimes pull out the bolster to slip under my hips for the Prone Bone/Down Low. Just like a wedge, it comfortably supports my lower back, but I find it easier to work my clit on the bolster than when I’m on one of the wedges. The bolster puts my hips at less of an angle than with a wedge, so we’re not going to get the same level of deep penetration, but it provides just the right amount of support to make me comfortable if I’m in the mood to be more prone (read: if I'm feeling lazy).

I hope with this week’s oversharing that I’ve illustrated how our use of sex pillows has made our sex that much better. From the ability to attain positions that would normally be difficult, to easing strain and pressure on muscles and joints, to leveling out size discrepancies between partners, sex pillows have the ability to make even great sex better.

In our opinion, if you are going to get just one (and you probably really only need one, at least to start, despite what the Liberator website would have you believe), grab either the Wedge (reg. $105, currently on sale for $84) or the slightly smaller Jaz.

If you already own a sex wedge, I’ve probably been preaching to the choir. But maybe it’s been sitting on the bench for a while, and it’s time to dust it off (well, laundering is probably the way to go here), take a look at suggested position variations, and bring it back into the rotation.

If you don’t own one yet, you need to get one. Don’t second guess — just pull the trigger on this. Get one as a gift for your partner, or make it easy on your Valentine and let them know it’s at the top of your wishlist. Because, rest assured, vagina-owners will benefit from this little wonder. And in my experience, having better sex leads to wanting more sex. So everyone wins!! Improving our married sex life hasn‘t been a single-answer problem, but having a quality sex pillow has been one piece of the puzzle.

Personally, I’ve already dropped some hints to my own Sweetheart that I would love to add the Liberator Wedge Ramp Combo to our collection. So 🤞

Until next time, stay kinky 😉