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Our Kinky Christmas (with product review)

Writer's picture: akinkandaprayerakinkandaprayer

Updated: Apr 4, 2022

As I mentioned at the end of my Christmas Eve post, PM and I had sexy gifts planned for each other this year. Or I should say, that having discovered by accident via an email receipt that PM had purchased something from AdamandEve.com for me for Christmas, I naturally felt the need to find something for him with a similar theme. When the package arrived, it came in a discreet fairly lightweight, medium-sized box. Of course, I immediately texted my mom-friend group for advice.



And so began my search for a not-to-be-opened-in front-of-the-children Christmas gift for my husband. Several gift ideas were considered and discarded, including a friend’s suggestion, which I feel deserves an Honorable Mention, that I fashion a custom cock ring out of pottery. Ultimately, the final gift combined red bandage lingerie and something for him that we have yet to put use but would probably send him to an early grave in mortification if I shared more. So 🤐 But that brings me back to PM’s Christmas gift for me.


Now before I make the reveal and give you my own review, you should know that we already own a few tame BDSM-type play things, so the fact that PM got this for us isn’t completely out of nowhere. What type of play we like and why, and how it has become a welcome addition in the bedroom by helping me focus on the moment and stay in my body and out of my head, will have to wait for another time.


His gift for me was neither sex swing nor stripper pole — it was a bed restraint kit. This exact one, in fact.


Apparently, PM had heard about it on the podcast Sex with Emily (which he highly recommends, btw. What can I say? My man is serious about his craft, for which I am very grateful). In “Swinging, Strap-Ons & The “New Squirting” with Sportsheets” from Sept. 16, 2016, Dr. Emily Morse interviewed Tom Stewart, the founder of Sportsheets, about his idea for the original version of the product made in the 1980’s. His inspiration came after seeing someone stick to a Velcro wall, upon which Stewart started asking women he knew how they would feel being stuck to Velcro during sex (because who wouldn’t make the obvious leap to sex apparatus after seeing a person stuck to a wall?). Most said it was something they would try, and so the original Sportsheets was born.


Today‘s version doesn’t stick to the sheets but slides under the mattress and allows the attached soft Velcro cuffs to be discreetly tucked away, thereby avoiding an awkward conversation with curious children. I can imagine too well how that would go: “No, we do not kidnap people and keep them tied up in our bedroom. Sometimes Mommy — or Daddy — likes to use them for fun.” Yeah, not ready to go there with any of our kiddos. We had the opportunity to try out the product the day after Christmas, having sent One, Two, and Three away for the day to their grandparents’ house. These sort of play things require some dedicated time and aren’t something we whip out during our normal quick snatches of “alone time.” We do have simpler accouterments, grab-and-go if you will, that we can use for brief assignations, but this would not be one of them. From initial installation through its actual use, in all we spent about 2 hours together, with the easy setup accounting for only about 10 minutes of that.


After getting the mattress back in place, I got in position for PM to restrain me. While the cuffs themselves weren’t fastened too tightly around my wrists and ankles, PM did give the buckles a good yank, which pulled me into a taut X on the bed. After a little adjustment, I was stretched but not uncomfortable. Then came the blindfold, which was one of our earliest ways of playing and is still a regular favorite.

As a quick aside, as you know, PM and I have been together for over 20 years. I trust him implicitly to never cross boundaries that I’m not comfortable with. We have yet to do anything together where I’ve felt we needed a safe word — if he reads that I’m in distress or am uncomfortable, he immediately backs off.

For this rendezvous, I was wearing my Christmas lingerie, so I wasn’t completely nude at first, but even so, being completely restrained (unlike simple cuffs) and vulnerable in this way brought a surprising initial wave of nerves. I found myself rambling on and cracking jokes in an attempt to get away from the feeling of self-consciousness at being utterly exposed and on display. PM sensed my skiddishness, but he knew a blindfold would focus me (and help me forget that I was trussed up and laid out for his inspection). We have a solid foundation of trust to draw upon in these moments of nerves, that and our experience together of slow experimentation over the past few years.


Although we’ve been together over two decades, it’s really only been in the last year or two that we’ve really become completely open with one another about our likes and dislikes in sex, what we’re willing to try and what we‘re not. And this openness, along with my knowledge that he only wants my pleasure and that he won’t ever allow me to feel humiliated (and vic versa), allows us to try out new steamy bedroom play in a way that we both feel safe and respected.


Blindfold secure, I took a deep breath to relax away any lingering nerves as I felt the bed dip under my husband’s weight. I was expecting to feel a feather tickler or a soft flogger to start, but instead I got something even better, his raspy beard. Hot damn, that beard.

Fast forward two hours later, we‘ve both climaxed, and for my part, not once but twice. As I watch him redress with a smug look on his face, I know I don’t need to remind him that his outstanding performance has triggered a rule I instituted this past summer called “Gentleman’s Choice.”

 

My institution of “Gentleman’s Choice” is one way that we’ve added an element of 🌶 play to sex. The rule is simple, really: if PM can make me come more than once in a session, the next time we get frisky, he gets to choose what we do together. Does it take a certain amount of tolerance for activities of which I am not the biggest fan? Sure. But I got two orgasms out of it, so I’m happy to reciprocate in some special way. Everyone wins. And it’s proven to be a great incentive for him to attempt to repeat these double-features, so to speak.

 

But back to the product. I was comfortable enough — the cuffs have Velcro closures and are soft and flexible but strong. It easily fit our queen size mattress, though I’m not sure about a king. The length of the restraint straps and the cuffs themselves adjusted easily — I’m petite but PM had no problem tightening everything enough to hold me securely. I gave everything some hardy tugging, and it seemed plenty strong enough for our purposes. Oral sex on me was a tad awkward given that I was unable to bend and open my knees, but he just had to be creative. I didn’t have any problem with anything getting caught in my hair, which is a problem with the other soft cuff set we own — the hook that holds the cuffs together has a tendency to pull my hair when my hands are pinned above my head. We didn’t try using just the hand cuffs clipped together without the arm restraints, which can be done, so I don’t know if they would also get caught in hair if used in that way.


The main reason for us to use a system like this is to tease the restrained partner, and tease me he did. And I must say that everything did feel a bit more intense than usual, perhaps a function of not being able to move much to absorb the sensations. So that’s a plus, especially as it got me wound up enough to climax twice. He didn’t try restraining me on my stomach, but I can imagine all kinds of fun being had that way, and I’m looking forward to trying that out in the future. And lo and behold, when we were finished, the restraints did tuck neatly away under the mattress.


As far as the cons go, I don’t really have any. I asked PM afterwards what he thought about the experience and whether having me fully restrained did anything for him. He said he was neutral about it, but that, like other things that we do together, he gets turned on when I’m enjoying myself. Then he laughed and said that the main complaint he saw in the product reviews was from men saying that they didn’t like that the women could get themselves out of the restraints. My response was, What are these men doing that the women are trying to get free? Seriously, what sort of psychopaths are buying this product and then reviewing it online? So take it as you will that reviewers seem to feel that the product isn’t commercial grade enough for the serious would-be abductor. 😳


But, of course, me being me, I immediately started to wonder aloud whether I thought one could in fact keep a person from escaping. PM assumed I’d be able to get free. I argued that one should be able to keep someone restrained and that the problem had to operator error. This led to some post-coitus fun to see if it was possible for me to get out of the restraints. I first made sure he slipped the arm restraints around the corner of the mattress so that they were coming out from the sides of the bed instead of from the top as they’re shown in the product photo on the box. I assumed that this strap position would prevent me from simply sliding the restraints along the mattress to bring my hands together to undo the cuff. In my opinion, that would be a stupid error on the part of the restrainer. No fun if it’s too easy.


With the restraints repositioned, PM tied me down again and stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching me. What can I say? We’re a strange couple. 😂


I went to work twisting and wiggling one of my hands in an attempt to slip out of the cuff. It took me about 4 or 5 minutes, but I was able to to work a hand out of the cuff, by which I would be able to free my other hand. But I argued that this was again a matter of operator error, because when PM closed the cuff with the Velcro, he didn‘t make sure it was flush against my wrist, leaving too much space between my wrist and the restraint. When I tightened the cuff, I honestly couldn’t see how I could get free. So there you have it.


Next time we use it will be his turn to be restrained, and let me tell you, I’ve got all kinds of plans.


Apart from unmedicated childbirth, there are few things that have made me feel as powerful as when I’ve got PM begging to finish. I’ll leave it to a later post to talk more about how edging has helped me discover a power that I didn’t even know I possessed and has made things smoking’ hot in our house.

Until next time, stay kinky 😉

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